Have you ever visited your kid’s therapist and was told that you were not supposed to tell when your kid has injured his/herself because it goes against the psychodynamic theory they are experimenting on your kid?
You are told that your child and their therapist must develop a relationship of trust and it is up to the child to tell the therapist when they have injured.
You are told that if the injury is not life threatening, don’t mention it to your child’s therapist because this talk between your child’s therapist and you will damage their relationship.
Does this sound right to you?
Where was my head in all of this? I will tell you where…wrapped in so much worry and fear, looking to those who were strongly suggested to me by my kid’s pediatrician and professors of child psychology from an esteemed university.
I did not see the big picture back then-nor was there the research there is today.
If any psychologist tells you not to tell them when your kid injures, it is my recommendation that you run away as fast as you can after you have told them they are full of it.
We did this therapy for far too long. We were told from our kid’s therapist that they had lively and engaging discussions. According to the therapist, her client-my kid-was fully engaged.
So what! Engaged in what? Why am I not able to ask the content or at least the topics addressed?
If your kid is like any other teen; afraid, easily embarrassed, keeping things secret, worried about what others think of them and a good conversationalist – then this is what could happen in an experimental psychological theory that is applied to these types of therapy sessions: A time where a teen can talk about only those things she wants her therapist to know because she can do, act, say, flunk out of History, French and Biology whilst she is cutting up her wrists and NOT MENTION anything about what is honestly troubling her BECAUSE Dad cannot tell the therapist that this is what is really going on in his daughter’s life.
Get my point? The psychological damage that goes on when our family is dealing with this crisis is only furthered by this, “don’t tell” approach. Get those gatekeeper parents in check! We were told we cannot control our daughter’s life so get parent coaching and fix it on our end.
Be careful, beware and educate yourself as best as you can when it comes to teen depression and self injury.